I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
