Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Boobs speak an international language.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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