I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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