this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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