Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
