I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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