wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
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