i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
