She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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