I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
