She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
