Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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