he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
