i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
