I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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