if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
