Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
