Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
