I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
