I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
