So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
