Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
