Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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