I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
