hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
