i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
