im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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