Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
