I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
