I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Found the puke drawer
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
