Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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