if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
