no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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