I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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