In the future we'll all be gay
Banned from zoo.
Again?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
