Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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