Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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