So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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