Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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