My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
