I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This toilet bowl is my home.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
