i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
