"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
