the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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