So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
