fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He did a backflip because drugs
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
