good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
