she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
