I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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