And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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