shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
